Many of us are struggling with how to respond to what we simply call “this moment” in our shared life—especially as we scroll an unceasing social media feed designed to inspire anger and judgment.

A simple phrase from one of the Desert Fathers can help us find our footing and discern our role in responding.

Fr. Isaac Slater’s new book, Do Not Judge Anyone: Desert Wisdom for a Polarized World, centers around an exchange of the Desert Fathers:

Abba Poemen asked Abba Joseph, “Tell me how to become a monk.”

Abba Joseph replied, “If you want to find rest here below, and hereafter, in all circumstances say, Who am I? and do not judge anyone.”

Fr. Slater, a Cistercian monk, calls readers to move away from judgment by better understanding their relationship to God and to their brothers and sisters. When we ask, “Who am I?”, we humble ourselves to understand that we are largely—perhaps, almost never—in the best position to judge the actions of others. At the same time, we can better understand ourselves as sons and daughters of God, with all of the security that comes with this divine inheritance.

This is a contrast with many of our gut reactions—especially online. We find ourselves not only responding to breaking news, but making judgments about the responses of others, and then finally entering a never-ending cycle of judging the judgments and reacting to the reactions.

Much of this comes from our own brokenness, Slater suggests. Our own shortcomings, fears, and anxieties are either projected onto others, or we feel the need to prove our own righteousness by criticizing others.

Abba Joseph provides a better way. By resting in the loving embrace of the Father, we can stop the cycle of quick judgment and projection. We can replace self-righteousness with love of neighbor.

Are we really called to not judge anyone? It’s not that simple—especially when it comes to our public life. Indeed, Gaudium Et Spes, the guiding document from the Second Vatican Council, specifies that the Church is called to “pass moral judgments even in matters relating to politics.” (76).

The Catechism of the Catholic Church states: “Conscience is a judgment of reason whereby the human person recognizes the moral quality of a concrete act…In all he says and does, man is obliged to follow faithfully what he knows to be just and right. It is by the judgment of his conscience that man perceives and recognizes the prescriptions of the divine law.” (1778)

Judgment alone is not the enemy. Sound judgments from a properly formed conscience are essential to a functioning public square. But we should resist the temptation to judge quickly and judge constantly. We need to make sure that our judgments are based on loving others more deeply, not love of self.

Fr. Slater suggests that this requires a distinction between discernment and judgment.

In a recent podcast with Fr. James Martin, SJ, Fr. Slater explains that judgment is always putting the other down to build ourselves up as the righteous one, whereas, “discernment is with and for everyone. So the world, in the negative sense… thinks in terms of ‘over and against’… whereas God and love is present in the world with and for the good of everyone.”

I’ve seen many people struggle with how to judge events out of Minneapolis in recent weeks. I’ve struggled, too. It is hard to make sense of the killings by ICE agents, especially as the scenes shake our very sense of safety, order, and what it means to live in America.

Not all of our judgments are worthy of our prolonged thoughts or actions. It’s quite fair, as we process these scenes, to question the wisdom of resisting arrest or carrying a weapon while potentially confronting police.

Healthy discernment would hopefully lead us past this musing to focus on the more essential facts: two people, acting to defend their neighbors, were killed in our streets. ICE officers in both situations made poor, tragic decisions that ended lives. Public officials are making policy decisions that are creating violent clashes in our communities—and many of them are lying about what we see plainly in video recordings.

When agents of the state are taking lives and intimidating citizens, and public officials are lying about what happened, we are on dangerous ground for a constitutional republic. And we need a new way forward.

Each of us will discern how we must respond. As we spend time in prayer and reflection, let us also acknowledge that there may be major gaps between our sense of justice and God’s word. Our gut reaction toward revenge, retribution, and “othering” must give way to compassion, empathy, and an orientation toward the common good. As we do this, we should heed Abba Joseph’s words to remember who we are: brothers and sisters to each other, and beloved children of the Father. We should be slow to judgment and quick to love, and spend plenty of time in silent reflection away from the demands of social media.

In this silence, Fr. Slater suggests, we can find our way forward:

“The key thing is… some practice resting in the Lord’s presence and soaking in divine love… we can be generous and gentle toward our own brokenness, then it starts to be easily and naturally extended to other people. And when we show empathy to others, we’re not afraid. As long as we’re approaching others as people who, like us, are broken and we’re approaching them with empathy, we don’t feel fear… And if we don’t feel fear, we won’t be tempted to judge and to defend ourselves and protect ourselves.”

By embracing our own brokenness, we can help make our communities whole again.

This is a personal reflection and does not reflect the views of any organization with whom I have an affiliation.