Millennial writer Meghan Clark writes:

For Aristotle, true friendship is a relationship of honesty, acceptance, and mutuality. In a relationship among equals, true friends love and accept one another for their own sake. It is not about competition or networking but rooted in virtue wherein we will the good for the other person, regardless of any benefit to us. Distinct from “imperfect friendships of pleasure or utility,” Aristotle believed true friendship was special and rare. Still, I imagine Aristotle’s shock at how rare friendship seems to have become. American society, notes Brookings Institution’s Richard Reeves, seems to be in a “friendship recession.” In 2021, the American Perspectives Survey found that 12 percent of Americans reported having no close friends, which is an exponential increase from only 3 percent in 1990.

Despite the ubiquity of social media and the language of connection, Americans struggle to build friendships. As a society, we are plagued by loneliness. In “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation,” the United States surgeon general details the health effects of social isolation and lack of community connections. The decline in friendship correlates to declining health outcomes across the population. “Lacking social connection,” the health advisory notes, “can increase the risk for premature death as much as smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day.” Social isolation and loneliness have been publicly debated for almost 25 years, since Robert Putnam’s Bowling Alone (Simon & Schuster), yet the problem grows….

Friendship is often neglected as a crucial element of human flourishing and the common good. We do not pay it enough attention in Catholic theology or Catholic social teaching….

Fear of rejection and making oneself vulnerable is a powerful barrier to friendship. So too is fear of change. But despite the risk, it is a gift. True friendship is incarnate. Even those lived digitally must be embodied because we as people are embodied. Friendships involve something shared, but true friendship does not seek uniformity but the good of each other. It is not anonymous but personal. Isn’t this also what the synodal process is about? Perhaps in learning to discern together as the people of God, we might also learn how to be friends.